The Continuation of Fair Season

Opinion

Jul 22

The King County Fair was the first fair of the summer. I have felt a great deal of excitement about going to photograph this fair because it represents the third year of work on this Fair Season project. Reflecting on last year, there were many days I spent out photographing a fair in an awful headspace - full of self doubt and the desire to give up completely on the project as a whole. I kept pushing through all of it, somehow continuing to make photographs that I cared about while swimming in what felt like an ocean of morbid reflection in my mind.

Something I've learned is that how I feel doesn't really matter because it's so temporary. There is such a familiarity with my inner head space - I've generally felt the same way my entire life. I think the biggest thing is to keep pushing and make the work anyway.

Looking at the photographs from the four day fair, I zoom out and see the holes in my project (which I will continue to work on in earnest). I won't get into that here but will delve deeper at a later post. The feeling of gratitude was dominant during this fair and I must say that is my favorite place to make photographs - although it is elusive. I laugh to myself as I type this now thinking "this feeling will pass as well".

Working on this project has been the best thing I have ever done in my life. It's brought me to places within myself - both dark and hopeful - that I never would have gone to otherwise. I have to remain focused for the rest of the summer. I think I have a primary and a secondary job as a photographer... 1. Stay present above all else to what is happening within myself and with what is happening around me. 2. If I can pull that off, the photographable moments come as gifts and my secondary job is to try my best to not fuck it up when they do come.